Thursday, June 28, 2012

Chemo club...returning member

The chemo "lounge" There are 18 thrown's. The place was packed today. It saddens me to see so many people fighting cancer. I sat in the waiting room and cried. It was difficult to see so many turbins, wigs, baldness, heads resting in hands, frailty, emanciation, swollen faces, feet and hands, staggered gaits, families pushing loved ones in wheel chairs, sullen eyes...I looked around the room and embraced hope for each one there. I know what you feel. I know your thoughts, your wishes, your struggles, your loss, your gain, your journey.  I'm sorry my friend. I truly am sorry.

When I enter the chemo lounge, every chair is occupied. Some are lying under blankets with their heads covered, some are staring into space. A few are talkative (like me). Young and old, black and white, woman and man...all on this journey together.

The potion (Gemzar and Carboplatin) with some anti-emetic and saline mixed in. I asked for the saline because I felt I needed the hydration. I go back next week for another dose of Gemzar and then I'm off a week. Then repeat the same cycle. After 3 cycles I'll get scanned again. I heard today that "Obama care" was passed. That sickens me. The consensus in the clinic is the same disheartened feeling. Watch as our insurance premiums go up and more procedures, medications and diagnostics get denied. It's very scary for people like me with a chronic disease that costs millions to treat. I'm afraid they'll start choosing who gets to survive and who gets to die.

Beautiful flowers that happily occupy my dear sister friends garden in Paducah Kentucky. I love you Susan! I needed to see your flowers today.

1 comment:

Cyndi Potter said...

Hello's to you my sweetness. When seeing your blog, I now know why you have been on my heart. My strong warrier! I will keep the precious memories we created in my soul forever! You give me strength that is beyond comprehension. I love you and pray for continued peace in your spirit. Hugs * kisses * Peace * and Love, Cyndi