The list

Last night I lay in bed, slumber would not come

I cried and bit my nails as I watched the moon slowly rise over the trees

So full of confusion, questions and despair

my daily seeking for answers to my existence and there after

I tick down the page of my imaginary list

So much to do before I take my journey

If only I could feel good, long enough to accomplish such tasks

but my list just gets longer and longer, I'm out of control

Things I want to give my children and grandchildren

Little tokens of me and those who went before me, little tokens of them as well

I want them to remember, I need for them to want those things

Though small and insignificant as they may be 

My nurses cap and pin, my grandmothers costume jewlery

My book of song and poetry that was written when my children were small.

A box full of trinkets, my guitar, my collection of cobalt blue, my favorite books, 

My old cassette tapes I recorded in my young and innocent days, photographs and stories

My daddy's clerical shirt and step collar that was just presented to me last week

So I continue to stare at the moon, through my tears of despair and sadness

continuing  my list which gets longer and longer, while time gets shorter and shorter,

I'm out of control...