Fear sets in once again...

Hopefully that's all it is...fear. I've been having deep pelvic discomfort and pressure which has now turned into pain. It has gotten progressivly worse over the last month. Yesterday I had to leave work and this morning the pain woke me at 4 AM. I called Dr. Martin's office and spoke with the RN Rhonda and told her that I was contemplating going to ER. My next scan isn't until July 7th. I told Rhonda that I'm hoping that I can just go get scanned today. Don't really want to do the ER thing or sit for hours in the Dr's office. I'm waiting now to hear back from Rhonda. Spent most of the morning on the couch in tears of fear...

The past couple weekends we camped on our land. Nice and peaceful. Only draw back is that you can't stay clean and camping is pretty much like work. Rand set up a blog to document our progress. My fear is that I will never see our dream materialize. That fear again...

Got to spend some time with my older 2 grandchildren and son Corey when we camped. I was hoping to see the other 3 little ones and my daughter Tiffany too but things just didn't work out. I miss them. Kylee has learned a new word..."redicoolas" (spelled like she says it)I have enjoyed keeping up with them on their facebook page and thankful for at least that. Have been keeping up with daughter Lyndsay in NC. She got moved into her new home and from the pictures, is very cute and cozy. I know she wishes her hubby was home from Afghanistan as does our daugher in law Catie. We lift them up daily and pray for their safe return.

It's been hard to work lately. Just have my mind and heart in different places. Wishing we were already on the land in our new home and living like hippies surrounded by our kids,grandkids and family. That's how I want to spend the rest of my days. On the mountain. Not sitting at a desk or dealing with staffing, regulations and crap. Free and detatched from society.

I'm sitting here waiting on my call back from Dr. Martin's office and writing my blog when Rand calls me urgently to the deck. I hurry to see what he wants and there is a 400 lb. black bear walking leisurely through our back yard! Our dogs are going crazy! Rand called the TN Wildlife and they told him they had gotten alot of calls about the bear this morning. I tried to get a picture but wasn't quick enough. What excitement!